Mes Souhaites

Last night was solstice and I went over to Molly's house for some dinner and what proved to be a really interesting story time and candle lighting ceremony.

Afterward we were all lying about chatting and the subject of the most poisonous gastropod came up, as it is apt to do. A different Molly who is a marine biologist told the disturbing story of someone at her university who had been stung a conidae. The poison is extremely virulent and rendered the fellow completely paralyzed. As he lie there on the beach with people all around him assisting his breathing, he was unable to move for several hours. Unable to make any sound at all to tell them to close his eyes as he stared at the sun until it burned out his retinas. What a horrible horrible thing to have to experience.

From there the subject drifted to other drugs and I mentioned that I have an interview for a web administrator position with the Marijuana Policy Project when I get back. I mentioned that really being committed to the work I am doing is something I enjoy and though I certainly think this is a valid issue, I wasn't really passionate about it. Also, I know from working on the missile defense system what it feels like to have a job that some people disapprove of and I wasn't sure I wanted another.

It was then that the original Molly told the story of a friend of her father's who grew marijuana in his house for himself and his friends. At one point he took a homeless man in and fed him and housed him for a while. It turns out that this homeless man was wanted by the police and when they caught him he turned in his benefactor as a part of the plea bargain. The guy got seven years. Coincidentally, during his time in prison he developed a neurological disorder that both causes him to shake and occasionally quite a bit of pain. That he can't smoke at a time that it would likely help make him more comfortable is another bit of unfortunate irony.

Both the responses of my friends and this story helped me feels a little bit better about the job. More than likely my dad is going to be his usually disapproving self and accuse me of being a pot head. If that be the case, fuck'im. As I've been emailing back and forth in the last couple days setting up travel plans I've been having long forgotten feelings of guilt and failure at not measuring up to what my parents wanted me to be. I don't hope to make those go away, but at the least I'll not let them drive me.

I'm almost finished with a project. For some reason my capacity to focus is proportional to my distance from completion. That means that I've been mostly surfing the web today and doing a little programming. It is always something tangentially related, but not productive.

For instance, I just got through reading a very interesting slideshow (I'm working on a HTML slideshow) about the neurochemical processes involved in taking ecstasy. It is something I've been interested in because I know some people who are convinced that it'll eat your brain while others consider it is a pretty safe drug. I'm wary about doing something that might eat my brain, so I've not been sure how I'd respond to the opportunity to take ecstasy. (Oh yeah, other than it being illegal and me not doing illegal things. Just hypothetically if it wasn't illegal…)

Methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA) simulates the release of, among other things, seratonin (5-hydroxytryptamine (5-ht)) in the brain. Seratonin is not normally released in really high levels and so there is not a huge supply of it on hand. This is why you can only take ecstasy once a week or so. If you take it more frequently, it will stimulate the release of seratonin, but the chemical simply isn't present in your brain to be released. Continually lowered seratonin levels is also one theory as to why regular use can contribute to depression.

Seratonin is taken back into the brain cells that released, but once inside the majority of it is broken down by the enzyme monoamine oxidase (MAO). Your body then has to synthesize more over time. This is done using two enzymes, 5-Hydroxy-Tryptophan (5-htp) and decarboxylese. I recognized the tryptophan from the now out of favor theory on Thanksgiving turkey.

The last bit covered the actual possible causes for damage to the brain. One is that in the presence of significantly lowered seratonin levels, dopamine (4-(2-aminoethyl)benzene-1,2-diol (DA)) enters the cell and is toxic. It is also broken down by MAO and the resultant hydrogen peroxide (H₂O₂) can cause oxidation of the cell. Also, repeated overstimulation of the seratonin receptors can cause downregulation and thus a decreased sensitivity.

It is a fascinating piece of meat we carry around in our heads…